Wednesday Wisdom – The attraction of love 

The majority of the time the way someone looks is what attracts us. That’s how it usually starts. No matter how much we argue this and disagree, deep down we know, it’s how it starts. But looks fade, it can only attract us to someone for so long. If the attraction is only based on appearance then sometimes we become so numb that eventually we are left with, nothing. Looks don’t touch our hearts or move our soul, so eventually that attraction fizzles away. However, a kind heart, a good conversationalist and an ability to make you laugh, now that’s something that attracts more than the eyes. Their looks catch your attention but their personality, oh their personality lights a fire deep within you that burns for a lifetime. 
– Aida M.

Too fake to be real: Is contouring misleading to men

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These two photo’s posted on instagram collected a lot of likes but also hateful comments, many of them about the perception of female beauty. In the before shot, the girls are make up free. You can see the differences in their face shape, eyebrows, nose and cheek bones. In the makeup shot everything is more enhanced. The difference is so great, that in fact, many have commented they feel ‘tricked’, not just by those girls but by many women who wear ‘too much make up’ or use contouring as a way to change their features.

Again and again, commenter’s have stated about both girls that “she looks like a different person.” And a statement like that – especially when talking about beauty – has a weird impact on what is actually seen as beautiful or attractive. To me, they look beautiful either way, with or without all that make up. It’s a real test to our society in fact, if a man see’s a woman in full make up and finds her attractive, then see’s her as she is naturally and doesn’t find her attractive, does that say more about him as a person or more about ‘society’s views on beauty.

Some have even said that this can even be deemed as deceitful. That a woman is hiding her true self underneath all that make up. That she is not just enhancing her natural beauty but completely changing it. I agree to a certain point, yes contouring can change your appearance and features and a woman should flaunt what she already has and not hide it but i don’t think it’s deceitful. That’s a strong word. If you think about it, make up is fashion, it evolves, a woman wearing blue eye shadow or bright red lipstick doesn’t suggest the obligation to present ones ‘real self’ but more of a statement of fashion. So is that deceiving? Her eye lids are not actually blue and her lips are not that red but we don’t see it as being ‘tricked’ into thinking they are. So, why should contouring be any different? It’s make up, it’s a statement, it’s fashion after all.

Some men have said that a woman would feel ‘deceived’ if they started doing the same thing, making them appear as if they have a more defined jaw line, a narrow nose, or no imperfections at all. Regardless of what you thought about the person. They feel that women see them for who they are so why can’t they get the same in return? They’re right in that they should know what the person looks like and see their true beauty but appearance shouldn’t be a deciding factor of whether you choose to be with someone.

But historically – woman have always used make up as a means of making themselves more attractive to those they’re trying to meet. Cleopatra? With makeup, a woman can present all the alluring traits men find attractive, high cheekbones, plump lips, flushed cheeks. Everything deemed beautiful in society. However, makeup is just one of the masks people wear, and the most common; it’s not part of us, it doesn’t define us, and it’s important to remember that. If it’s a way to make you feel good about yourself than I’m all for that, but if it’s just a way to get attention then I don’t see the argument.

It all comes down to what you as an individual deem as authentic. If you want to see a woman’s imperfections (because we all have them) or want to know what’s real, then yes, it can be a form of deception. There is nothing wrong with playing dress up now and again, but when do you stop?  However, If you embrace the less natural look, then you’ll prefer a woman as shown in the picture on the right.

Make up isn’t used for your own personal pleasure anymore; many women use it as a way to attract others, platonically or sexually. It’s used to draw people in, deceitful? Maybe, but the real question is this: Do people have an obligation to present themselves authentically (in appearance) to someone they are trying to attract? Or maybe if we weren’t living in such a judgemental and superficial world then people would be more comfortable in their own skin.

What do you think? Is it misleading?

‘Thursday Thoughts’: If we judge a fish…

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“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

― Albert Einstein

This weeks ‘THURSDAY THOUGHTS’ is a quote by Albert Einstein, Although we can’t really credit him for saying this one as their is no evidence to prove he did, it has be used by educators and people for decades. With that being said, I couldn’t agree more with this quote, it teaches us not to judge people but most importantly that it is inappropriate to judge someone or and animal on focusing on the skills they don’t possess rather then on what skills and success they do. For this quote specifically understanding that a fish specialises in swimming superbly for long distances and not climbing a tree which is non-existent in this context shows that the skill lies within its ability to swim and therefore should be praised for that. 

The central point of this quotation is that every individual should be aloud to pursue their strengths, if they are good at one thing more than another they should pride themselves on that one thing and make it the best that they can and in doing so their weaknesses should be overpowered. We all have the ability to grow and accomplish what we set out to, we should believe we are capable of something and put all our energies into what we know we can do and not what we can’t otherwise we would miss out . Not every person or animal for that matter will be good at the same things, we are all different and unique and should support one another in achieving our and their full potential. Children should be taught from a young age that it is okay not to be perfect at everything and if you are not good at something in particular then it doest make you stupid. Find that one thing and make the most out of it and create something stronger and greater then anything you could have imagined and then you are on the right path. 

With that being said, some are great athletes, great writers, great musicians, great academics but the one thing they all have in common is they took the skills they knew they were great at and created something positive from it and didn’t let any weaknesses get it their way. Focusing on one strong skill can be much more effective then trying to succeed at a few average ones. 

Just because someone isn’t skilled in one area, doesn’t mean they aren’t skilled in another. Let me know your thoughts!

‘Thursday Thoughts’: As I began to love myself…

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As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health- food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.
 Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”
-Charlie Chaplin, about self love. April, 16th 1959.
 

This weeks  ‘Thursday Thoughts’ is one of my favourite quotes; I feel words that are inspirational and true are the most empowering and beautiful.

Everyone at one point in their lives embarks on this journey of self discovery and self love and realise all the things that matter in their life and the things that need to be left in the past. His words are said perfectly and I feel everyone can relate to it and use it to re-evaluate their own situations. There was a point in my life where I lost all confidence and I really didn’t know how to love myself and appreciate who I was, it was partly because of the people I surrounded myself with and allowing my insecurities to get the best of me. However, when I realised that the problem wasn’t with me it was with the negativity surrounding me, I began to take on a new perspective on life and allow myself to be alone and use that to focus on the positive things and establish who I really was and who I wanted to be. What I have learnt is, since I went on this journey of self love I found myself to be much happier, stronger, loving and I allowed good people and a good relationship into my life which has been my motivation and my strength to learn how to appreciate not only myself but the beauty of life and what I have achieved and what I am capable of achieving. Allowing someone special to love me, allowed me to do the same and I haven’t looked back since!

So I hope this quote inspires you just as much as it has inspired me. I would love to read your thoughts and what inspires you or your views on this weeks THURSDAY THOUGHTS in the comments below!

 

She got her own; Here’s to the independent women

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Society teaches women; You can be ambitious, but not too ambitious. You can be in control, but know when to take a back seat. You can be successful, but not too successful. You can be intelligent, but not more then the man. You can have money, but there is a limit. And, you can aspire to achieve success, but aspire to be a wife also.

So here’s to the independent women who take those limits and say ‘I’M A WOMAN, AND I SET MY OWN RULES’.

Being ‘miss independent’ is everything that embodies a strong, successful, intelligent and powerful woman. Knowing what you want, where you are going and being your own support are the foundations of being independent and being your own woman. There is nothing more empowering and beautiful then a woman that is in control of her life and knows how to own it!

1. It’s important to be strong but know your weaknesses, understand them and learn how to control them and create something positive from it.

2. Being wise is what epitomises strong women, being able to learn from your mistakes and use them as a stepping stone for something better helps you avoid making the same mistakes again.

3. Being independent doesn’t mean being single! Wanting and loving a man for the person he is and not needing him for success and money allows your heart to love for the right reasons and not because he pays the bills.

4. Having ambition and not being afraid to exceed all expectations, knowing there aren’t any limits to what you can achieve and not letting anyone stand in your way.

4. But most importantly focusing on your strengths and being encouraging of other women and not competing with them is a beautiful and inspiring attitude to have that many women and young girls look up to and want to achieve in their own lives.

5. Therefore, being ‘miss independent’ to the fullest is being a confident woman and knowing when to leave your insecurities at home and embrace what you have and what you have achieved. Some men find confidence and an independent woman more attractive whilst others can feel intimidated by them, so it’s important to let the men still feel needed and leave certain things to them and have a balance when it comes to your love life.

But always remember, being independent means being who you want to be.

 

 

A Thought For Thursday- what’s on your mind?

ImageIm starting a new weekly post on my blog every thursday where I will post a ‘THURSDAY THOUGHT’, anything from quotes, to a thought I had that morning and just something I heard and wanted to comment about. As well as posting my thoughts, It would be great to hear yours too so let me know your Thursday Thoughts in the comments below. 

So here is my Thursday Thought; We may look at others and feel that they have everything, they have the job we want, the money we dream about, the love we long for and the success we crave. However, we never stop to think that life happens the way we choose it to. Nobody in life has or gets everything they want, or thought they would get. No matter how much we think someone else has or how much they succeed, we should remember that life is what we make it. Success comes from hard work, love comes from not looking for it but letting it happen and a positive life comes from kindness and the ability to not judge people. Its easy to envy other peoples lives, but by respecting what they have and focusing on getting to where you need to be through determination and passion, that is when amazing things will happen. 

 Someone else isn’t walking your journey, you are! 

 

What are you waiting for?

As I was thinking of new ideas to write for my blog, it got me thinking; Are we as humans programmed to always want what we can’t have? always wait for what we don’t have right now? and always feel that we would be much happier if we had this or that? It’s crazy to think that we spend so much of our time wishing and wondering and less about enjoying and appreciating. I don’t understand why we do it or why we are wasting our lives looking for future happiness when the only thing that we are wasting is the happiness we have now and the life we are living right this second.

Why wait for summer, enjoy the winter and each day leading up to it. Why wait for love or to be loved, enjoy the love you have from your friends and family and the journey you go through before meeting that special person. Why wait for money? be appreciative of what you have and the people that surround you, they are whats important in life. Why wait for anything? We could wait a lifetime for happiness, the more we wait and the more we wish for stuff the more we lose track of the importance of life and the happiness and love we have right now. It’s one thing to have dreams and goals that we set for ourselves but its another to keep waiting for them to happen and missing out on the amazing journey we go on to get to them.

Remember to enjoy the little things, because one day we might look back and realise we missed what was important. So lets try and enjoy the moment and embrace today and look forward to enjoying tomorrow when it comes. Happiness is achieved when we stop waiting for it.