When it’s real it can’t be broken. It won’t just fade away like a rainbow after a storm or the sun as the night draws in. When it’s real, it’s here to stay. It’s not there one minute and gone the next. It will stay with you until the last words you speak and the last breath you take. There is no hesitation when it comes to true love, it’s as real as the air we breathe and the touch we feel. It may not always be stable and can get a little hard at times, but the real lies in whether it sticks with you through everything, the good and the bad. It may be the reason you’re hurting or why you’re insecure, but it’s also the reason why you care so much and why your heart feels warm. Nothing compares to this feeling, no amount of money and no amount of worthless attention can amount to the happiness you feel by loving someone and being loved. Never compare it to others; never have expectations of what it should be, just live in the moment with each other. Live in its beauty, and feel its generosity. Treasure it like it’s the most precious thing in the world. Nurture it so its grows and speak only words of kindness. The reason why old flames burn out is because they were never meant to last forever. The flame starts off strong, but eventually withers down to its last flicker. A new flame, if taken care off properly and loved beautifully, can last a lifetime in each other’s hearts. For when it’s real, it will never burn out.
We live in an age where people make it impossible for woman, men and anyone to feel comfortable with who they are and to embrace themselves fully. The media has always objectified the female body, women have always been exploited as ‘sexual objectives’ but now social media is doing it too. All we see everywhere are naked images, you don’t even have to open a Playboy to see provocative poses and womanly bits. Just go on Facebook and Instagram! This has just opened doors for more and more negativity but also insecurity.
The negative side of this is people, with their stupid, hurthful comments about other people’s weight and how someone looks is unjustifiable and unpeasent to hear. Body shaming is not right, hiding behind a computer and writing horrible things about someone’s appearance is a cowardly and pathetic thing to do. Talking about a woman’s body as if it is on display – objectifying each curve, each imperfection and each edge of her body as if any woman needs someone else’s approval or opinion is completely unnecessary. Therefore, loving yourself is beautiful, focusing on yourself and not on other people’s comments and unrealistic expectations is the sexiest thing a woman can do. If we spend our lives trying to live up to an image, a representation or an opinion of what makes someone beautiful, than we will live our whole lives in darkness. Constantly wondering why we don’t look a certain way and why we don’t fit into this Instagram ‘beauty bubble.’ Eventually it will keep dragging us down till we lose sight of what in fact was most beautiful about us in the first place. What makes us different from each other is what makes us most beautiful. However, the one thing that I find most degrading and disturbing is knowing it is not only men that are objectifying women, it’s women doing it to each other. Instead of uniting and celebrating one another, we have entered into a society where women compete and destroy each other’s confidence. Labels and comparisons need to stop. Is there any wonder children are growing up in a world filled with false images of what it is to be a woman? One thing to remember is, why would you want to be someone else, when you can be yourself!
These two photo’s posted on instagram collected a lot of likes but also hateful comments, many of them about the perception of female beauty. In the before shot, the girls are make up free. You can see the differences in their face shape, eyebrows, nose and cheek bones. In the makeup shot everything is more enhanced. The difference is so great, that in fact, many have commented they feel ‘tricked’, not just by those girls but by many women who wear ‘too much make up’ or use contouring as a way to change their features.
Again and again, commenter’s have stated about both girls that “she looks like a different person.” And a statement like that – especially when talking about beauty – has a weird impact on what is actually seen as beautiful or attractive. To me, they look beautiful either way, with or without all that make up. It’s a real test to our society in fact, if a man see’s a woman in full make up and finds her attractive, then see’s her as she is naturally and doesn’t find her attractive, does that say more about him as a person or more about ‘society’s views on beauty.
Some have even said that this can even be deemed as deceitful. That a woman is hiding her true self underneath all that make up. That she is not just enhancing her natural beauty but completely changing it. I agree to a certain point, yes contouring can change your appearance and features and a woman should flaunt what she already has and not hide it but i don’t think it’s deceitful. That’s a strong word. If you think about it, make up is fashion, it evolves, a woman wearing blue eye shadow or bright red lipstick doesn’t suggest the obligation to present ones ‘real self’ but more of a statement of fashion. So is that deceiving? Her eye lids are not actually blue and her lips are not that red but we don’t see it as being ‘tricked’ into thinking they are. So, why should contouring be any different? It’s make up, it’s a statement, it’s fashion after all.
Some men have said that a woman would feel ‘deceived’ if they started doing the same thing, making them appear as if they have a more defined jaw line, a narrow nose, or no imperfections at all. Regardless of what you thought about the person. They feel that women see them for who they are so why can’t they get the same in return? They’re right in that they should know what the person looks like and see their true beauty but appearance shouldn’t be a deciding factor of whether you choose to be with someone.
But historically – woman have always used make up as a means of making themselves more attractive to those they’re trying to meet. Cleopatra? With makeup, a woman can present all the alluring traits men find attractive, high cheekbones, plump lips, flushed cheeks. Everything deemed beautiful in society. However, makeup is just one of the masks people wear, and the most common; it’s not part of us, it doesn’t define us, and it’s important to remember that. If it’s a way to make you feel good about yourself than I’m all for that, but if it’s just a way to get attention then I don’t see the argument.
It all comes down to what you as an individual deem as authentic. If you want to see a woman’s imperfections (because we all have them) or want to know what’s real, then yes, it can be a form of deception. There is nothing wrong with playing dress up now and again, but when do you stop? However, If you embrace the less natural look, then you’ll prefer a woman as shown in the picture on the right.
Make up isn’t used for your own personal pleasure anymore; many women use it as a way to attract others, platonically or sexually. It’s used to draw people in, deceitful? Maybe, but the real question is this: Do people have an obligation to present themselves authentically (in appearance) to someone they are trying to attract? Or maybe if we weren’t living in such a judgemental and superficial world then people would be more comfortable in their own skin.
What do you think? Is it misleading?
So here’s the thing. You can be the most beautiful person in the world, when people look at you your natural beauty shines through, your eyes sparkle with happiness and your smile lights up a room. But, does any of that matter when the person you look at in the mirror doesn’t agree? If you don’t believe what you’re worth then why should anyone else’s opinion matter? It doesn’t start with what people think, it starts with what you think.
I understand it’s easier to say you should love yourself then it actually is to believe it. But we as women do need to realise that self-love is a very important factor in any relationship, any choice we make and any future love we may want. It shouldn’t be misconstrued with cockiness, because that’s far from what it is. It is a confidence that we should have and all women should reflect within their personalities and their attitudes. It starts with your head and not your mirror.
Woman are by nature insecure, no matter what you may be insecure about it is something that can control us and become a major part of our decision making, which in the long run can be a dangerous thing. To be confident is to be strong enough to not let your insecurities rise above your strength because it takes a brave person to be confident. Even the most insecure person can appear to be the most confident, and not because they’re learning to control their insecurities but because they’re better at hiding them then the rest of us.
Every minute you waste criticizing yourself, doubting yourself or not believing your self-worth is time wasted. It’s time that shouldn’t even been spent on the negatives but should be spent on all the things that are beautiful.
So, just remember. Learning to love yourself is learning to appreciate what you have. People will always put you down, but they can also be the reason why you rise above them too. Learning to love yourself essentially allows others to love you, it opens the doors to so many possibilities and allows the sun to shine through where there used to be a grey sky. Learning to love yourself is the realisation that you shouldn’t live to false expectations and the beauty of reality is right in front of you. And most importantly learning to love yourself is a woman’s most beautiful trait, so embrace it and don’t throw another moment away on the things that are not important.